


The Heist

by minusxero



Category: Original Work
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-09
Updated: 2015-02-09
Packaged: 2018-03-11 07:14:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3318725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/minusxero/pseuds/minusxero
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Writing Prompt: No matter the establishment, no matter the outfit, wherever he/she went everyone around would mistake him/her for an employee.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Heist

We sat in the back of the van, checking and double-checking the game plan. Payton was reviewing us point by point, testing our knowledge like some sort of offensive lineman. I let him talk, and idly daydreamed about where my future would go from here.

"Randall? Randall?! RANDALL, are you paying attention?" I snapped out of my stupor and looked up. The boss and our two accomplices were glaring at me.

With a shrug, I said, "And then I walk in and take the money."

"Right," Payton barked. "When you get the cash, make for the back door. Our driver will be there to scoop you. Jon and I will fall back to our back-up cat and lose the inevitable fuzz. We'll meet back at base no less than 3 hours from right now."

Finally, the man nodded as if to confirm everything as fact. "Let's roll."

I grinned and pulled down my ski-mask. This was going to be fun.

* * *

Jon and Payton burst into the bank, guns in hand.

"Alright, little birdies, don't get any funny ideas. I'm sure you've seen movies before. You know what we're about." As if to emphasize his point, Jon raised his pistol upwards and fired a warning shot. The three or four people waiting for a teller reacted in roughly the same way; they gasped and shouted, dropping whatever was in their hands and getting down on the floor.

I could feel Payton's grin even through the ski mask. "Slowly, slowly, start checking your purses and pockets for valuables and slide them over to my associate here."

"And you!" he yelled, pointing at the tellers. "You try to make any smart moves, and I will shoot one of these innocent people up dead. Don't put a person's life in your ledger. Just do as we say." Unwavering pointing a gun at one of the civilians, he gestured with another hand to me.

Oh boy, my cue. Ski mask on and clad in black, I paced towards the entrance to the teller's counter. One of the more attractive bank employees eyed me incredulously.

"Randall!" hissed the woman. "You chose a horrible day to be late to work."

It never failed. "Sorry hun," I replied. "Got caught up in some traffic. Lemme have the keycard to the vault."

"Why?!" the woman replied. I glanced at her nametag. Tina. Right, that'll be useful.

Meanwhile, the gunmen had one of the bank associates pulling up account info on a computer in one of the cubes, acquiring as much card information as possible.

"The boss informed us of a new bank policy for robberies. The most senior ranking associate is to access the vault and move any assets to the new safe room in the back." I shook my head ruefully. I swear, if this worked, I could get away with ANYTHING. "Did you not pay attention to the memo we sent out last week, Tina?"

"Of course I did," muttered Tina, flush with embarrassment. "It's not my fault I forgot. I'm only a temp, I shouldn't be liable for this kind of shit!"

I patted her on the back. "It's alright. Just hand me the keycard and I'll make sure to put in a good word to Steve."

Dear God, I hope there's a Steve at this bank.

"He may even promote you to full-time based on your calm under pressure," I winked.

She nodded quickly, and, when Jon had turned, skittered over to the drawer at the foot of the other teller. A minute of fumbling with the keys later, and I had the keycard in hand.

"Alright, thanks Tina." I gave her a quick hug, making sure to get a little handy on her rear. I felt heat near my cheek as she blushed. Interesting, I thought. I'll make note of that for later.

"Stay calm, don't do anything rash, and everything'll be okay," I assured her. "I'll be right back."

I started towards the vault.

* * *

"Man, that was one smooth heist!" the driver exclaimed. "How the hell did you pull that off?"

I made a motion to brush off my shoulder. "Oh, you know. A bit of luck. A bit of skill. But mostly it's just the power of will." I looked out the window.

"Hey man, can you stop at that Mickey D's real quick?"

"The fuck? Why you need that for? We're literally making like bandits right now. That's a thing that's happening."

"C'mon man. I don't wanna piss all over the interior. Just stop for like 2 minutes, I swear. I'll be back before you can blink."

The driver thought about it for a moment. "Fine. But make it quick."

He pulled in and parked. I grabbed the bag and walked into the restaurant.

* * *

The driver walked in five minutes later, fuming. He came up to the register. "What the FUCK do you think you're doing?"

"Welcome to McDonald's, home of the Big Mac. How can I help you today?"

"What? C'mon man, this isn't funny. It's me." He leaned in a bit and brought his voice down to a whisper. "We just robbed a BANK together?"

I pointed at my black ski mask. "Sir, does it LOOK like I'm a bank robber?" The man took a really good look.

"No, I 'spose not."

"Okay. But since you're so set on being one, I could get my manager over there to call the cops." I grinned. "They might be interested that you stopped by."

As if on cue, the manager walked up. "Randall, are you giving our customer trouble?"

The driver started backing up. "No, he was, he was fine. I just confused him for somebody else. And I uh, forgot my wallet at home."

As the manager and I stared awkwardly at the would-be-customer, he said, "Be right back."

And out the door.

The manager glanced at me. "It's alright kid," patting me on the back. "You always get the weird ones around 2."

He looked down at the bag sitting at my feet. "Jesus, Randall. You know we have cubbies in the back. Put your shit up and get back on registers."

"Yes sir," I said, grinning.


End file.
